am i ready for this?

Today will be a good day for me... that i told myself from the moment i opened my eyes and got out of my bed. I promise myself that i will learn to let go and today is the best time to start whatever i am planning to do, to be able to break free from your spell. I have done a lot of thinking... put things in perspective... so full of hope... full of light... i just hope that i can pull it through...Today my plan is to ignore you... as if you dont exist.... i dont know you... it sounds easy right... too easy... just remember that i dont know you for sure... and i will be able to finish the day with flying colors... then continue with the remaining battles...When i reached the office, im so full of energy... too sure that i will be able to pass the test. I opened my PC and start checking my mails. Logged in to yahoo in invisible mode and bang!!! you're online. I can do this.. i can do this!!! Self control i am able to manage. I dismissed the thought of clicking on your name, page you and say hello. You're invisible to me. That's only a state of the mind. However... i still clicked on you're name telling myself that i can do this.. yes i can... with trembling hands and a hesitant mind... I right clicked on the mouse and press on the delete option... Oooooopppppssssss!!!! No confirmation please... i may change my mind. Without reading what's in it, i just clicked on OK... and yes, now u are deleted.. how brave of me... there's no turning back.. if only the same applies to my system... to my feelings... with just one click... it wud have been easier to dismiss you... it would have been... Anyway, now you're no longer in my list... I can stare all day in my messenger and not be tempted to page you... can I delete your ID from my mind as well??? How I wish... i am fighting the urge.. im trying harder than expected...My day is turning fine.. i am able to fight my own battle... when all of a sudden a message window pops up... a message coming from you... arent you going to help me with this??? arrrggghhhhhh!!!!! the barrier was broken... the coldness went away... my heart soar... I should not feel this way... I should ignore you... I must... but for how many times do I have to convince myself... what happens next, you be the judge... u